Value
by Caramelized
Summary: 1. Protect them, like your life depends on it 2. Stay with them, like you'll be the most constant presence in their life 3. Love them, so there's never a moment when they can feel alone. In the end, who do you value more? A side-along story for Hour Hand. [May contain triggers for some, as T is the given rating]. SoKai, small mentions of Namixas.
1. Trade

**WARNING:** May be a trigger for some as there are implications of cutting and suicide. Please proceed with caution.

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**Value**

1. Trade

The blade reflected the artificial light, taunting the blue eyes that scrutinized it with deep thought.

_Should I…?_

The hand reached for the blade. Once firmly grasped, the blue eyes closed.

…_Will I?_

The door flew open and so did blue eyes.

"Wait!"

Instead of looking over to the owner of the familiar voice, blue eyes continued looking at the blade.

"Please…"

No movement came from blue eyes.

Light footsteps came closer and a pair of small hands rested over the bigger ones.

Blue eyes sighed, "Kairi… why are you here?"

A soft chuckle escaped the girl next to him, "To keep you from doing things like this, silly."

He watched as Kairi's thin fingers slowly loosened his grip, "How did you…"

"I've seen glimpses of your arms before, Sora. I'm…sorry."

He fell silent and watched as her fingers kept working. He tightened his grip when she got to the last finger.

"You don't… understand."

Kairi exhaled shallowly, "I… don't. No matter how much family history you tell me, I don't think you could make me fully understand either."

"Then—"

"Sora. Who do you value more?"

"I…what?"

"Who do you value more? The people who brought you here, or the people who kept you here?"

Sora stared at the girl next to him, violet eyes blazing.

"Tell me your answer tomorrow. In the meantime—"

She took the blade from his slackened grip and tucked it into her purse.

"I'll be taking this. Because I'm taking something of yours, here's something of mine."

Kairi folded a sheet of paper and wrapped his hands around it. Her eyes softened at the unmoving figure.

"A blank sheet of paper for a blade? You're quite the uneven trader."

She huffed, "It's the only thing I'm willing to part with from my purse right now, okay?"

She got a small smirk in return. Kairi looked at Sora some more, he hadn't even glanced her way once. She hesitantly walked over and gave him a secure hug.

"You… you know where to find me. So return that sheet of paper to me tomorrow, deal?"

She felt the spiky hair tickle her cheek in an up-and-down motion. Her shoulder also felt a few drops.

Kairi released him and without a second thought pecked him on the cheek and hastily left the room.

After she was gone, Sora leaned back on his arms and looked to the sky outside.

"Who do I value more, hm?"

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**A/N:** A side-along story with Hour Hand :D. This plot bunny exploded in my head and it had to be written, turns into this. This'll be focused on Sora and Kairi's relationship in the U.S. This definitely won't be as long as Hour Hand unless some more major arcs form in my head for this story as well.

This will only be updated after Hour Hand as that is my priority. **Value** will be a closer look into things that are mentioned in Hour Hand but aren't explored. It will also only be updated when I'm feeling stuck on Hour Hand or I need a break from other things, like life.

Thank you for any of my viewers that still read my stories.

xo,

Caramel


	2. Red

**A/N:** This chapter takes place on June 2, 2002 of my fic _Hour Hand_- Chapter 7. Chapter 1 of this story serves as a prologue of sorts.

Scroll to the bottom for a long apology and update on writing!

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**Value**

2. Red

He wasn't particularly fond of the color red. It was too harsh, too loud. If he could, he would avoid it. Unfortunately for him, he'd been seeing a lot of red lately. Red every time he glances at the only empty seat at the dinner table. Red whenever he sees his mother steal a look out the window. Red when he notices the light in his little brother's eyes dim more every day. Red when he feels tear drops against his hair when his mother hugs him.

Red. Every time his father fails to come home by the end of the day.

Sora entered the kitchen only to find it empty once again. Exhaling sharply, he shook his head and starting making himself and his brother breakfast.

_Why am I still expecting something… It's been 3 years already._

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. He turned 12 just 2 months ago… shouldn't he be outside playing sports or playing video games instead of giving himself high blood pressure or something? As he set plates out, he noticed a small note in his mother's neat script next to the usual errand list and enveloped money. He brought the slip of paper closer, hands starting to shake while his eyes scanned the words his mother left for him.

Jaw clenched, Sora shoved the piece of paper in his pocket and continued to make breakfast. He poured two glasses of milk and took out four pieces of bread. He popped them all into the toaster and went to get the peanut butter and jelly. Glancing at the clock, he figured his brother wouldn't wake up for another two hours or so. Sora grabbed one of the milk glasses and put in the fridge. The coolness from the refrigerator calmed him down… somewhat. He leaned on the counter next to the toaster, mind slowly drifting to the puzzle he could never solve.

It started three years ago, when his father stopped coming home consistently. He can't say he wasn't surprised really… his father told him. Albeit vaguely, Sora knew something was off, even if he was only 7. He was 9 when he noticed a change in his mother's demeanor. He was 10 when he finally realized what his father meant.

_Sora sat on top of his father's shoulders, arms thrown up in the air like plane while his father's hands anchored him. Hearing a disgruntled noise beneath him, Sora brought his arms down and mussed the hair that matched his own._

"_What's wrong, dad?"_

_Vossler shifted Sora's weight and sighed, "I'm getting too old for this."_

_Sora leaned down and peered into another pair of blue eyes, "Daaaaaaaad, how can you be too old for this? Roxas just got here like… yesterday! You have to do this with him too! He feels left out all the time and then he starts crying and I don't know what to do!"_

_The older man reached a hand up to tap his son's forehead, "Sora, Roxas is three years old now." He motioned for the young boy to get off. Slowly, Sora climbed down his father as he would a tree and grasped onto the bigger hand. _

"_That doesn't change his crying…"_

_Vossler smiled and bent down in front of his 7 year old son. He ran a hand through the spiky brown hair, mussing it up._

"_Daaaaaad, stop!"_

_Sora peeked up at his dad as he tried to stop the ruffling. He noticed the blue eyes of his father seemed distant, a crease formed in his brow as well. Eventually, the hand on top of his head ceased movement and rested rigidly on his hair. Sora reached up and held onto his dad's finger, "Dad… why do you look so sad?"_

_Vossler's eyes focused on his son again and sighed deeply, "Sora, listen to what I have to say for the next few minutes, okay?"_

_Nodding his head in confusion, Sora looked intently at his father's sudden change in demeanor. Vossler moved his hands to rest on his son's shoulders. He felt how small they were and his stomach churned at the thought of giving such heavy responsibilities to someone with such little shoulders. He gulped down his regret and stared into the blue eyes that mirrored his, "Sora. When the time comes, you will have a very important job. One that you will have to commit to for the rest of your life."_

_Sora felt the weight of his dad's words settle in, "Dad… that's a long time. What is it?"_

_He watched as his father took a few even breaths before speaking again, "I need you to take good care of your mom and your little brother, alright? If there's anything extremely important to you, your mother and brother will come before that, understand? Protect them, like your life depends on it. Stay with them, like you'll be the most constant presence in their life. Love them, so there's never a moment when they can feel alone."_

_Sora watched a stray tear travel down his father's cheek. He reached up and wiped it away with his thumb, "…Daddy. Are you okay?"_

_Vossler took a few more breaths before steeling his eyes over, "Do you understand me, Sora? Will you follow these three commands? This is the one job I will ever have for you, will you make me proud?"_

_The young boy nodded confidently, but still curious as to why his dad asked him of these things, "I will! But dad… what about you?"_

_He watched as his father's posture stiffened, "What about me?"_

_Sora bit the inside of his cheek, "Isn't what you told me your job?"_

_Vossler stayed silent, knowing his son's question was spot on._

"_Are you… re… retiring? Or, or, quitting? Is that why you're telling me about this job?"_

_Sora saw his father's jaw clench and unclench, "No, Sora. I would never quit my job. I… am merely taking a break. It's good practice for you though, right?"_

_Still feeling uneasy, Sora wrapped his arms around his dad's neck and mumbled, "You're still gonna be coming home, right?"_

_Unable to hold his tears back further, Vossler turned and hid his face in his son's hair. He felt his throat dry up, so he whispered back, "Of course I will."_

The spring of the toaster shocked Sora out of his memory. He unclenched his hand and proceeded to make a sandwich for himself and his brother.

He scooped a heap of peanut butter from the jar and started to spread in long strokes.

Stroke 1. _Protect them, like your life depends on it._

Stroke 2. _Stay with them, like you'll be the most constant presence in their life._

Stroke 3. _Love them, so there's never a moment when they can feel alone._

The knife clattered onto the counter top as Sora rubbed his eyes furiously. He wouldn't cry. Not anymore. His father didn't deserve anymore tears than he had given already. Those 3 orders. He followed them with all his heart for 5 years. All he got in return was a semi-absent father that might as well be a stranger to his family now.

Sora swiped the knife off the table and rinsed it in the sink before getting a new one to finish the sandwiches. His harsh movements made a mess, but he couldn't care less. Once he was done, he scowled, knowing he lost his appetite due to his unfortunate memory retention.

He grabbed a sticky note near the phone in the kitchen and quickly scrawled a note for his brother.

_Hey baby brother,_

_I'll be running errands for mom like usual. I made breakfast for you—PB&J with milk in the fridge. Eat the crust this time you little wuss, it's not that bad. _

_Anyway, don't miss me too much! I'll be back to hang out with you before you know it. I'm sorry our dad isn't here to do these things as _his_ job instead of me as a substitute._

_I'll get some snacks that you like too._

_Love and other mushy things,_

_Sora_

Sora glared at the line he wrote about his father. Command number 1 flashed in his mind and he saw red again. He angrily crossed out it out and left the note in clear view for his brother. Grabbing a set of house keys, the errand list, and envelope, he left the house and locked the door behind him.

_If I'm going to be doing a good job of these stupid commands, it'll be to my standards, not _his.

He pulled the list out and raced through it for the quickest one to complete. He decided that borrowing a pastry book from the library would be the easiest. Sora headed over to their garage and got out his bike. He looked at the empty car space with contempt. He turned away before red could fill his vision again.

He sighed and pedaled off to the library, leaving a sleeping brother behind him.

_v.1.2.3_

Sora skimmed over the shelves, hurrying along the aisle. Who knew there would be this many pastry books… Eyes trained on the titles of the books, he didn't notice the girl standing on a stool reaching for a pile of unorganized books on the top shelf.

His eyes returned to his frontal view just in time to see the person he was going to bump into. He knew both of them were going to fall, so he closed his eyes and reached his arms out to bring the person closer to him. If he was at fault, better let himself hurt than them, right?

Sora felt the impact of the floor and grimaced slightly. He sat up slowly with the unfortunate person in tow. The person began sputtering apologies and he mumbled a quick sorry and moved to stand up. Forgetting that the other person was attached to him, the uncalculated weight made him stumble backwards against the shelf. He opened his eyes to see what caused his imbalance. Sora saw a violet color when a flash of pain on the back of his head forced his eyes shut. Instinctively, he drew the person closer, covering their head with his hand and tucking them into his shoulder.

When the pain subsided, Sora opened his eyes again and his vision was filled with red. Momentary confusion with the color confused him. He stood unmoving, trying to sort out what had happened, all the while staring at the red color in front of his eyes. Then, it moved.

Sora watched as the red color shifted away to reveal two violet orbs, surrounded by a lighter shade of red. A soft voice reached his ears, but he couldn't hear a thing. His eyes studied the face in front of him.

A pretty girl around his age with chin length red hair, violet eyes, and a blushing red face.

He felt a small smile form on his face.

Maybe there was more to red than he thought.

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**A/N:** First off: Sorry.

My summer has been full of my academic brain that I haven't had time to let my creativity flow until just yesterday. If you keep up with my wordpress blog (on my profile), I've been blogging semi-frequently about things going on with my life. Just yesterday, I made an unwise choice to stay up late.

But in the mean time, my writing blossomed again and the normal flow I get came back to me. While I finished up the one-shot for my forever OTP, an idea popped in for Value and here's the result.

If I keep this pace up, I will be updating Hour Hand soon after. HOWEVER, I don't want to upload a chapter I'm not confident with as I just got back into a consistent flow of writing, rather than choppy awkward sentences that I've been pasting together for the past few months. So hopefully, I'll upload a chapter of Hour Hand that's up to par with the previous chapters.

I have the ending of that chapter in mind, so I'm hoping I won't break away from this writing streak and make you guys wait even longer as school will start soon.

Thank you for staying with me, even though this is just the side-along story to my main multi-chapter.

xo,

Caramelized


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